11 March 2019

LAST DAY IN LONDON! | Weight loss talk & many feels

My final full day in London! Was an emotion-filled day but also involved delicious crepes, a bit of exploring and a multi-coloured bath so wasn't all sad feels.

good morning all it is Tuesday which

means one thing I'm flying to Australia tomorrow holy crap that is crazy I woke up literally over two hours ago I couldn't sleep I'm excited there's just a lot going on I really wanted to sleep in it's like actually a beautiful day outside you can see that tiny little bit of flu I was chatting to my mom for half an hour on the phone just sort of getting her up-to-date with everything what I'm gonna do now is I'm gonna head to West cool because it's the last day that I can get my waitress free coffee you guys know how much weight a free coffee means to me it's gonna be emotional but Westfield doesn't actually open until 10:00 which is inconvenient because I need to get a heap of stuff like luggage tags I realized I have no snacks I packed some snacks in my bag I have eaten those some snacks in my bag problematic so I need to definitely toe up on snacks because knowing me I'll be like I'll be fine the plane food will be fine it won't be fine I'm gonna take my dog talk over me think I'm gonna take an apple with me because I'm not gonna get breakfast to about 11 or 12 today I'm gonna head to a crepe place in at Camden

which I think I explained in my vlog previous to this but anyway that's all happening I need to go get caffeinated because I'm really tired and literally I never thought I'd be wanted to be reliant on coffee but I can tell that I'm not functioning at an optimal level right now see see this is exactly me come to waitress with me get my free coffee [Music] okay yeah I interrupt that shopping trip because let's just put it this way there is something about waitress coffee that makes me fit Belle's very active and so I was just like I need to bring this shopping trip to hiatus and like go back to the hotel room so alas I'm back here and I feel overwhelmed because I don't know all the stuff that I need to get so I need to get stress jobs I want to get eyedrops but I'm gonna leave all of that until later anything that makes me feel a bit off whether that be in terms of like stomach sickness tiredness anything like that like sends my anxiety racing because me and sickness don't do well together I'm not sick just I need to go to the toilet a lot it's a very normal after drinking coffee anyway my issues

son eight it is currently I don't know what the time is again I just we met yesterday it's 9:30 I'm going to make sure everything's all packed and ready I'm gonna put some makeup on I'm gonna brush my teeth freshen up a little bit because I am so tired I couldn't sleep like I couldn't not sleep honestly I can't tell whether it's that coffee or whether it's just nervous giving me nerves but the nerves they're kicking in so what I'm doing is I'm about to put some makeup on and like brush my teeth and stuff and I'm watching travel vlogs because that's what I love to do I have no idea who this person actually is by literally just typed in travel vlogs into YouTube and this is what came up this is what I'm gonna do to like calm nerves cuz I'm feeling a little bit like see even screen won't focus on me because that's how I'm feeling oh there we go yeah feeling a little bit oh I don't know if this too personal or what but like when I travel I basically lose weight really quickly also only done my eyebrows so I just realize that looks really weird I probably won't be exercising properly for the next two days there's a hotel

gym I might just do a little bit of fluff work because I know I'll probably drop like a kilo or two just from traveling alone I can feel that my stomach is just it's disappearing so when I travel I eat a lot of high-calorie foods I do what I can you know like when I get nervous I can't really eat a lot for some reason say for some reason but it all comes back to that whole mind-body connection you know it's like I would get butterflies when we're nervous I can't eat a lot at one time so what I tend to do is I just graze all throughout the day luckily when you're traveling overseas you have no choice but kind of grazed because you lose all sense of time need to keep an eye on necks my weight is already really low I'm definitely feeling it like I feel depleted like I need to go drink about a liter of water which probably should do actually okay I have been hardcore procrastinating like things that have taken me five minutes have somehow taken me like 45 minutes my head feels like it's all over the place at the moment which means I need to just get out and start doing stuff so I have all packed

up I've just got some things here that I need to put in my pockets I'm gonna go downstairs check out I think I'm across the Navy because I really don't wanna carry all that luggage around it is what it is I'm gonna leave my luggage with the hotel and then go out it's a beautiful day I just need to screw my head on properly like everything just feels all over the place [Music] that crepe was lovely I had a buck we collect with chestnut cream banana and cinnamon and now okay okay that wasn't to me now I'm just gonna walk around Camden for a little bit because some really nice areas and I stay - yeah [Music] you I don't even know where to start I was gonna sort of compose myself for a little bit and then log but I thought you know what I'll catch my real authentic emotions it was pretty hard going on the train here like seeing all the sights of London and being might be the last time I'd see this for a while it's a really weird feeling my luggage is so heavy I haven't weighed it I

haven't had the opportunity to weigh it so I think tonight I'm gonna have to go through my stuff and be really brutal because I'm quite sure that's over the 25 kilo limit like as someone that leaf weights for a living I have a pretty good perception of weight and that was a really really big struggle luckily I managed to get a trolley I have in my room which I'm pretty sure shouldn't be here but at this point it got me through and plus then I can take it straight when I need to go to the terminal tomorrow morning basically I got off the train and I followed all the signs to get to the Hilton and then I got to the Hilton and I went to check-in and he's like oh you're at the wrong Hilton what sort of airport has two different Hilton hotels so he's like oh yeah yours is in the North Terminal luckily he got me that trolley and then I had to walk all through the airport and then get a shuttle bus to this York hotel but I last time here and I requested a room of the bus so I will show you guys that in a minute just so I could chill I managed to buy a lush bath bomb earlier today but I just I'm really exhausted now like I'm shaking from exertion just through

lugging all of that around it's I keep using the word weird because I don't know how else to describe it but I feel like maybe I'm without doing up a purpose I feel like I'm like harboring a lot of inner emotion and I'm trying to get it out and I'm trying to like be okay with being upset and being scared but I think I'm like blocking a lot of it out to protect myself I think what's happening this afternoon is that a lot of feelings of failure are coming back I remember how excited I was to move over here it's 15 months later and what do I have to show for it you know this these past 15 months have been incredible they've been scary they've been exhausting they've been everything you could ever imagine positive negative highs lows more than anything I feel really really alone traveling would do that to you so the travel is a wonderful thing and it's something that everyone should do but I'm done so they're trying for a little while it's not fun to do all this by yourself and it's hard because I have this platform online because I want to inspire and motivate and share my life with you all and that does mean that I

open myself up to this level of vulnerability that maybe a lot of people don't like a lot of people wouldn't film this part of what goes on but it goes on and this is life it's 5:30 right now so I'm good I'm set you know I don't really have to leave here now until like 11 o'clock tomorrow morning probably later if I wanted to but to be honest I like to mosey around airports so that'll be fine I'm just gonna chill for a little bit I think just trying to distract myself from everything then I've got to go through my stuff and see what I can get rid of then I'm gonna head to the airport pick up some stuff for dinner I think I'll just get food to take back here it's all just very weird isn't it but it's like this is the hardest part you know this is this is definitely the hardest part the waiting around it's not so bad on the way to somewhere because you're like excited and all of that but when you're ready to just get somewhere a P feel like the end of the journey you just want to get there I'm totally rambling now but it's because I haven't like spoken to anyone properly all day so I'm gonna show off the camera before you all get really

bored and cancel this video hopefully I said hopefully by the next time I check in with you I feel better I'm no no okay I'm doing okay I just need to stay strong I really need to stay strong I thought before I put you guys four away for a while I'd do a little bit of a room tour nice massive chair here which is what we want a beautiful view there is a desk with a chair which I actually really really like that and then there's a nice big bed with four pillows as it should be my last hotel and he had to and I had to ask for more TV little kettle thing which probably won't use anyway with any camera Martine hotels I need a chill out then obviously my big trolley with my big thing a nice big mirror hello hello a wardrobe you know an ironing board which I obviously be using and then I'm really happy with this because there's a bathroom with a nice toilet and look at that bath look at that bath and it's got a little showerhead so which is perfect I bought a hair mask for tonight I've got a bath bomb I'm really looking forward to that I think I really need it I really wanted

to get pretty monetary but they didn't have one where I was so I just went to MLS I got roast chicken tomato and basil sandwich massive salad because I'm not gonna get proper fresh food for like the next day then I put some of these corn things on there that I had in my suitcase just because I don't know I had an excuse that I needed to cut down weight even though it was like a sprinkle then I pick up these in Sainsbury's it's pickled ginger can I add it to my salad with some pepper look at his gourmet dining I've just run myself a bath I don't know why and I don't know whether to be worried about if I get the waters like a bit of a weird color it could just be a reflection of the wall or something I have no idea I got this bath bomb from lush this is called the Twilight bath bomb it is one of my favorite ones why isn't anything focusing there we go it's a really really good for relaxation apparently and it's really strong in lavender I used to have this a lot when I was younger so it kind of has a really nostalgic smell as well for me which I love I'm gonna put that in in a minute but I'm also gonna try out these john

frieda hair masks I'm going back to Australia which means I want my hair to be nice and bright and shiny and summery so I think what I have to do is shampoo and then I sort of towel dry my hair a little bit put this in leave a 5 minutes and then wash it off so I'm gonna try that I won't take you through the process with me because it's a little hard to when you're in the bath but I'm option results after [Music] I'm gonna wrap this video up here guys as you saw I just had that orange chocolate protein bar that I was talking about and I had some peanut butter because I'm trying to fuel up now I don't know how much food I'm actually gonna be eating when I'm like flying and stuff and plus tomorrow when I'm feeling like a little bit nervous I might not be able to eat as much so I'm like get all the food and while I can I have also braided my hair personally because I have a lot of hair I find it easiest to braid my hair in two braids when I go traveling because it means that it's sort of out of the way and I haven't got like a pointy tail right here when I'm trying to lay back with my head on the

plane seat I did hair mask and my hair feels really nice and soft and also that back home was lovely my skin's all glittery now so I'm feeling good nerves definitely are there it's it's like a weird type of nervous that I'm feeling right now I'm just feeling a bit odd really so I'm gonna check out now what's the time it is about ten o'clock I've taken my Fitbit off because I choose not to travel with my Fitbit on when I'm doing this type of international travel I just find that it confuses me and I end up like thinking oh I'm being too sedentary and just yeah it kind of misses my mind a little bit so if if it has gone off and it will probably stay off now until the weekend to be quite honest with you I really do enjoy vlogging when I'm traveling because it gives me like a little side project to do and it definitely helps with the loneliness that inevitably is there but I'm gonna check out for the night I think that's the second time I've said that which means I definitely need to go rest now guys